Celeb Watching

Had such a fantastic day in London on Monday with my best mate Debs. I had to have a filling re done in the morning, which I wasn’t looking forward to but my dentist is such a gentle soul I had no problems at all.

So off to London Debs and I go, with me trying not to dribble too much and Debs taking the piss out of me and how my mouth goes at funny angles due to the injection I had. First call was Covent Garden for a mooch around the shops and stalls and have lunch. Thank goodness the numbness in my mouth has stopped by then or I might have needed a bib. The weather was gorgeous and the street artists were out in full.

Then we had a hot date with a very good friend of mine who was able to get us in to see the filming of a regular TV show. We were whisked past the waiting queues feeling like celebs ourselves, and taken behind the scenes of lots of studios and then to the Green Room. Here we were settled with refreshments, and spotted a few celebes, one was the gorgeous Myleen Klass and her lovely daughter. Debs then nearly swooned at seeing Enrique Iglesias, who was such a smouldering hunk in the flesh and he sang live with Gabriella Chilem. It was such fun to see behind the scenes and to watch the show being filmed. Thank you M for organising it and looking after us so well x x

Then off we scoot to Soho where a friend of mine was showcasing a comedy sketch he had written at a club there. Im a great fan of Casualty and outside the club we saw ‘Abs’ who used to be in it. Another gorgeous young man. We got in the lift and he joined us. I was very cool and asked which floor, and my mate Debs turned into a right celeb stalker by nearly drooling over him lol. He was very sweet and very nice and it was such a shame I couldn’t fit him into my handbag. The show went really well, and there were a few celebs there too, as well as friends who we caught up with in the bar afterwards.

Number of celebs seen = 11

Nearly fell asleep on the train home, and when I crawled into bed in the early hours of the morning, I certainly had a smile on my face. What a day!

x x x

Hanging Around

From what was a very sad start to the weekend, it turned out to be a lovely one with family and friends. It was the 5th anniversary of my Mums death on Friday. Just cant believe its been 5 years. It hit me quite hard this year, being the second one without Dad. My brother and I continue the tradition we started with Dad, going up to the Cemetery and lay some lilies and then go for a drink and bite to eat together. We could’nt do this on the Friday, as my brother had a funeral to go to. So we did this on Saturday. The Cemetery where my parents are is lovely, its a memorial garden, so no headstones, just brass plaques in the ground and lots of flowers around. Its right next to some fields, so its very peaceful. Often when I visit its just me and the rabbits. We shed a few tears, shared a few smiles and hugs and then went for a lovely Thai meal at my brothers local pub. Met up with my niece and nephew, more hugs, which was lovely.

Then on Sunday I went for lunch to some good friends of mine. They are very much into BDSM and its fascinating to hear what they have been up to. They had a new toy to show me. My friends have a lovely barn extension on their cottage in the middle of nowhere. They have huge beams, from which various hooks and brackets are attached. Their new toy had been made for them, a contraption with a manual hoist, which when your ankles are attached to it by stirrups you can be pulled up off the ground and hang upside down! Well I just had to try this as Ive never hung upside down, and it had to be done before dinner too. It was quite weird being hauled up and hanging by your feet. It took me a few minutes to be brave enough to take my hands off the ground, but I did it!. I was about two foot from the floor , with a cushion underneath me just in case ! I managed about six minutes before I got a bit dizzy and asked to be taken down. I imagine it would be great for those with bad backs, Im sure I was a bit tallker when I was released lol. Want to see?? I have got a photo but need to play around with it, so watch this space.

x x x

Missing you Mum

Friday 6th March, 2009 is the 5th anniversary of my Mum dying. This year it has hit me really hard. I miss her so much. We didn't always see eye to eye and there were times when although I loved her dearly I didn't like her. But she was my mum.

Mum suffered from depression through her life, she had problems from her childhood and not an easy life. So sometimes it wasn't easy living with her. In October 2003 she had a hysterectomy, as the doctors had found a few abnormal cells. She recovered well from that operation and had more tests, only to be told that the cancer had travelled. She started Radiotherapy and then Chemotherapy and had visits to the Royal Marsden. Then just before Christmas she was informed that her condition was in fact terminal, the cancer had travelled to her liver, bones and brain.

I was there that day, with dad, waiting for her to return home from the Marsden in her hospital transport car. As soon as she walked through the door I knew that something was wrong, she was crying and couldn't face us. We went out to the hallway and brought her into the kitchen. Once she had calmed down a bit she was able to tell us what the consultants had told her. That her cancer had spread and it was terminal and she only had a couple of months to live.

We just huddled together and cried and held each other. I promised my mum that I would do everything in my power to make sure she was comfortable and pain free. Unfortunately i wasn't able to do that when she went into hospital for what proved to be the last time. Stupid doctors didn't prescribe her the pain killers she needed until I was very cross with them.

I left my parents to come to terms with the news and to give them some privacy. I then had to go and tell my brother, not an easy thing to do.

It was 11 short weeks from that day to the day she died in a local hospice.

I then took up caring for my dad as he was disabled and it was my mum that did everything, looking after him and running their home. I didn't really have a proper chance to miss mum, although I did most of my grieving in those short 11 weeks before she died. I used to cry all the way down the M23 to home.

Then dad died in July 2007 and that left a huge hole in my life. Its only been this past six months that I have missed both my parents equally. As when dad first died I missed him more. Does that make sense?

So this years anniversary feels very different from the others. Its the second one without dad, and my emotions are feeling quite raw.

I'm going to the cemetery with my brother on Saturday to lay down some Lillie's, one from each of us remaining, myself, my brother and his three children. Then we are going for something to eat and spend a bit of time together. We did this when dad was alive, and it feels right to continue.

What do I miss about my mum? Her laughter and wacky sense of humour. Her cooking and hospitality, she was a great cook. Her hugs when I was feeling down, and when I was poorly and living away from home the provisions she would pop in to keep me going and not being over fussy. Watching her potter around in her garden, her pride and joy. There are many things I miss about my mum, but most of all I miss just having her here.

x x x