Finding Mr Right or Mr Wrong

Today is my 26th Wedding Anniversary. Well it would be if I was still married! My marriage lasted two and a half years. First year was great, rest wasn't. I don't feel old enough to have possibly been married that long. Surely I'm not! lol

Ive had two wedding proposals in my life, my ex husband and another boyfriend. The boyfriend was few years back now and even at the time of his proposal I knew that I didn't want to be with him and soon ended the relationship. He was a total waste of space. Ive only accepted one proposal, and that was to my ex husband. It was right at the time, but I really was too young, though thought I knew it all.

Will I ever get asked again? Do I want to be asked again? I quite like the way my life is now, but who knows what might happen in the future and with whom! That's whats so fun about life.

A good friend of mine is doing the Four Man Plan as her way of finding Mr Right. She has tried all sorts of dating schemes, online dating sites, personals in local newspapers, clubs etc etc. Here is an article on the plan and shes got the book http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-1103205/It-adds-The-square-route-finding-Mr-Right.html, which I might borrow. She did try the plan before, but cheated so it didn't work. This time she wants to stick to it, and so far so good. I'm enjoying her stories on her dates. The only bit that she finds difficult is the reaction the dates have when she tells them she plans to go on other dates with other men.

She gets quite a negative response at this. This is always told on the first date, so that they know and theres no game playing. Its only a date, not a life long commitment. Once she has found a guy that fits her then she becomes exclusive and stops looking. But you do need a few dates to find that out.

I think theres a lot to be said for matching making lol I wouldn't have the patience to do what she is doing. It takes a lot of time and patience to find Mr Right or Mr Wrong!

Hugs

x x x

My Devon Experience

Ive had a lovely week away in Devon. I even managed to get some sun and had a red chest like a robin! I’m (a)pealing now though ;o)

Stayed in a beautiful cottage in a little village, and really enjoyed the peacefulness of it all. Main highlights were visiting the Plymouth Gin Factory and had a little tour and lunch in their restaurant. http://www.devon-online.com/attractions/plymouthgin/Welcome.htm. Did some shopping in the new Drake Shopping Centre and bought my nieces 18th birthday pressie.
It was fascinating to see how they make Plymouth Gin, and had a tasting. I like G&T’s but Plymouth Gin is so smooth that I actually liked it on its own. Wasn’table to drink too much as I was driving. But certainly brought a bottle home with me.

PlymouthHoe is also worth a visit, though was a bit blustery on the day I visited. Great views of Drake Island and the little boats coming in and out of the harbour there. There was a guy scuba diving just outside the harbour, not sure what he was looking at but was fascinating to watch him.

Went for a day trip down to Cornwall and visited Polperro and Looe. The sun shone that day, and really enjoyed mooching around the little streets. Also had a day trip down to Dartmouth, such a beautiful place, and yes the sun shone there too. Went on a boat trip along the coast and managed to see some seals warming themselves up on the rocks. Was treated to lunch at http://www.thenewangel.co.uk/. Felt a bit under-dressed though in my summer skirt and top. Food was delicious and the restaurant is right on the sea front, so a lovely view while your eating.

Burgh Island is lovely to visit too. http://www.burghisland.com/ I didnt stay at the hotel, tad pricey for what it is in my view. But walked across the sands to the Island from the main land and had lunch at the pub there, Pilchard Inn.

Went on a few boat trips, I just love the sea. Its so nice to sit back and relax and be on the sea and watch the coast line go by.

I met up with two of my cousins who now live in Devon and who I haven’t seen since their brothers wedding nearly 20 years ago. I think we were all a tad nervous, but we soon got chatting as if no time had passed at all. Was lovely to see them and spend some time with them, caught up on all the family gossip. I am planning to go and visit at the end of August as they are having a family party and their sister and brother will be there too, so more reunions.

So I’m now feeling refreshed and relaxed not too sure how long that will last! LOL

x x x

Diabetes

After six months of feeling very tired, never ending thirst, weeing lots and change in my eyesight, I was diagnosed yesterday as having Type 2 Diabetes. I knew it was coming so it was quite a relief really. Diabetes runs in my family, my dad was Type 1 and mum Type 2, and my grandmother was a Type 1. Plus with me being overweight, doesn’t help. Good factors are I’m a non smoker and only drink a couple of units of alcohol per week. Doc has told me that I will also need to have medication in time for blood pressure. So I’m booked in to see the Nurse in two weeks, and I’m sure she will give me more details and advice.

Ive been put on the half dose of Metformin as it does have yucky side effects tummy wise, and once I’m used to it to go up to the full dose. I’m fully on board to altering my diet and eating less sugar products and eating more healthily and taking on a bit more exercise. I do like my curves though so dont want to loose them all. Although even when I was in my 20’s and a size 12 I was still curvy. It will do me good to loose a bit of weight and tone up a bit. Plus good excuse to buy new sexy undies and clothes.

I’m now meant to make sure I eat three healthy meals a day, at regular intervals. This I will find a problem as im always rushing around. Ive had a good search online and have found a good Diabetic website with info and also a forum, so can get some advice and support there too.So in time you might be seeing a bit less of me lol. However, I don’t tend to be a skinny minny, that’s just not me.

Will keep you posted.

x x x

Tour Guide Duties

This week I was asked if I would be a driver/tour guide for a friend of a friend visiting locally from Denmark. As Im self employed its quite easy for me to juggle my working time and get time off during the week if I need to. Plus my friend thought that I would enjoy it, and so did I.

It was arranged a few weeks ago, and I was really looking forward to it. I cleaned my car in preparation (god did it really need it). I collected my new friend from the train station and it was really nice to meet him at last after all the correspondence. He had two specific places he wanted to visit and I added a few more to the list, but we didn’t want to rush our day. I had already programmed the destinations into my loyal Sat Nav, and I’m really pleased I had it. It took us down lots of gorgeous country lanes, through the Kent countryside, and it was such a sunny beautiful day.

Our first stop was Downe House, where Darwin and his family lived. A beautiful house surrounded by lovely gardens. I believe more in Creation than Evolution, as it was the way I was brought up. But the exhibitions in the house were lovely, especially his voyage on HMS Beagle. I also liked the very personal story of how he met his wife, and about his children.

Next to visit was Knole House and Park. Its somewhere Ive always wanted to visit. You can just enjoy the grounds with the deer, or you can go inside the house. Well I say house, its more of a huge mansion, and well worth a visit. Its still lived in, which gives it an added magic. The house and buildings show the history of the Sackville family, lots of portrait paintings and rooms set out with furniture from the Tudor times. We stopped and had lunch here, the sun had gone behind the clouds but it was still nice to eat outside.

Last visit of the day was to Chartwell, Winston Churchill’s family home. I think this was my favourite. Maybe because its recent history. I only recently learnt that Churchill was a painter, as well as an author and there are displays of both at Chartwell. The gardens here are beautiful, lots of ponds, waterfalls and a couple of lakes, as well as a round outdoor swimming pool Churchill had put in. After looking round the house, we sat for a little while just taking in the beauty of the place.

My new friend was very easy to get on with, we chatted and laughed like old friends (well not so much of the old lol). The day had gone so quickly, it seemed like no time at all I had to drop him back off to the train station. When I got home I noticed that I had caught the sun a little, my freckles were much in evidence, and I certainly slept really well due to the walking and the fresh air.

x x x

Spectacular

Do men make passes at girls that wear glasses? I jolly well hope so lol

Ive had glasses for reading and computer for just under two years. Around two months ago I noticed when driving that my long sight vision was slightly blurred. I took myself off to a well known chain of Opticians, the ones that do the offer on two for one, and had an extensive eye test. I remember when you just sat in a chair and had a card over one eye and had to read off the letters/numbers of a card on the facing wall. Its all gadgets and gizmos now.

One of the machines takes a picture of the back of your eye and you can see it on the screen, looked like something out of a medical text book. Eyes all healthy, which is good. However, eyesight not so great. Now have to have glasses for driving and long distance, and another pair for reading and computer work. My original pair of glasses are now too strong for me, as my eyesight has altered.

What was really fun was choosing two new frames. I collected my new glasses on Sunday and have been showing them off. But they dont look like the ones in the picture ;o)

x x x

Celeb Watching

Had such a fantastic day in London on Monday with my best mate Debs. I had to have a filling re done in the morning, which I wasn’t looking forward to but my dentist is such a gentle soul I had no problems at all.

So off to London Debs and I go, with me trying not to dribble too much and Debs taking the piss out of me and how my mouth goes at funny angles due to the injection I had. First call was Covent Garden for a mooch around the shops and stalls and have lunch. Thank goodness the numbness in my mouth has stopped by then or I might have needed a bib. The weather was gorgeous and the street artists were out in full.

Then we had a hot date with a very good friend of mine who was able to get us in to see the filming of a regular TV show. We were whisked past the waiting queues feeling like celebs ourselves, and taken behind the scenes of lots of studios and then to the Green Room. Here we were settled with refreshments, and spotted a few celebes, one was the gorgeous Myleen Klass and her lovely daughter. Debs then nearly swooned at seeing Enrique Iglesias, who was such a smouldering hunk in the flesh and he sang live with Gabriella Chilem. It was such fun to see behind the scenes and to watch the show being filmed. Thank you M for organising it and looking after us so well x x

Then off we scoot to Soho where a friend of mine was showcasing a comedy sketch he had written at a club there. Im a great fan of Casualty and outside the club we saw ‘Abs’ who used to be in it. Another gorgeous young man. We got in the lift and he joined us. I was very cool and asked which floor, and my mate Debs turned into a right celeb stalker by nearly drooling over him lol. He was very sweet and very nice and it was such a shame I couldn’t fit him into my handbag. The show went really well, and there were a few celebs there too, as well as friends who we caught up with in the bar afterwards.

Number of celebs seen = 11

Nearly fell asleep on the train home, and when I crawled into bed in the early hours of the morning, I certainly had a smile on my face. What a day!

x x x

Hanging Around

From what was a very sad start to the weekend, it turned out to be a lovely one with family and friends. It was the 5th anniversary of my Mums death on Friday. Just cant believe its been 5 years. It hit me quite hard this year, being the second one without Dad. My brother and I continue the tradition we started with Dad, going up to the Cemetery and lay some lilies and then go for a drink and bite to eat together. We could’nt do this on the Friday, as my brother had a funeral to go to. So we did this on Saturday. The Cemetery where my parents are is lovely, its a memorial garden, so no headstones, just brass plaques in the ground and lots of flowers around. Its right next to some fields, so its very peaceful. Often when I visit its just me and the rabbits. We shed a few tears, shared a few smiles and hugs and then went for a lovely Thai meal at my brothers local pub. Met up with my niece and nephew, more hugs, which was lovely.

Then on Sunday I went for lunch to some good friends of mine. They are very much into BDSM and its fascinating to hear what they have been up to. They had a new toy to show me. My friends have a lovely barn extension on their cottage in the middle of nowhere. They have huge beams, from which various hooks and brackets are attached. Their new toy had been made for them, a contraption with a manual hoist, which when your ankles are attached to it by stirrups you can be pulled up off the ground and hang upside down! Well I just had to try this as Ive never hung upside down, and it had to be done before dinner too. It was quite weird being hauled up and hanging by your feet. It took me a few minutes to be brave enough to take my hands off the ground, but I did it!. I was about two foot from the floor , with a cushion underneath me just in case ! I managed about six minutes before I got a bit dizzy and asked to be taken down. I imagine it would be great for those with bad backs, Im sure I was a bit tallker when I was released lol. Want to see?? I have got a photo but need to play around with it, so watch this space.

x x x

Missing you Mum

Friday 6th March, 2009 is the 5th anniversary of my Mum dying. This year it has hit me really hard. I miss her so much. We didn't always see eye to eye and there were times when although I loved her dearly I didn't like her. But she was my mum.

Mum suffered from depression through her life, she had problems from her childhood and not an easy life. So sometimes it wasn't easy living with her. In October 2003 she had a hysterectomy, as the doctors had found a few abnormal cells. She recovered well from that operation and had more tests, only to be told that the cancer had travelled. She started Radiotherapy and then Chemotherapy and had visits to the Royal Marsden. Then just before Christmas she was informed that her condition was in fact terminal, the cancer had travelled to her liver, bones and brain.

I was there that day, with dad, waiting for her to return home from the Marsden in her hospital transport car. As soon as she walked through the door I knew that something was wrong, she was crying and couldn't face us. We went out to the hallway and brought her into the kitchen. Once she had calmed down a bit she was able to tell us what the consultants had told her. That her cancer had spread and it was terminal and she only had a couple of months to live.

We just huddled together and cried and held each other. I promised my mum that I would do everything in my power to make sure she was comfortable and pain free. Unfortunately i wasn't able to do that when she went into hospital for what proved to be the last time. Stupid doctors didn't prescribe her the pain killers she needed until I was very cross with them.

I left my parents to come to terms with the news and to give them some privacy. I then had to go and tell my brother, not an easy thing to do.

It was 11 short weeks from that day to the day she died in a local hospice.

I then took up caring for my dad as he was disabled and it was my mum that did everything, looking after him and running their home. I didn't really have a proper chance to miss mum, although I did most of my grieving in those short 11 weeks before she died. I used to cry all the way down the M23 to home.

Then dad died in July 2007 and that left a huge hole in my life. Its only been this past six months that I have missed both my parents equally. As when dad first died I missed him more. Does that make sense?

So this years anniversary feels very different from the others. Its the second one without dad, and my emotions are feeling quite raw.

I'm going to the cemetery with my brother on Saturday to lay down some Lillie's, one from each of us remaining, myself, my brother and his three children. Then we are going for something to eat and spend a bit of time together. We did this when dad was alive, and it feels right to continue.

What do I miss about my mum? Her laughter and wacky sense of humour. Her cooking and hospitality, she was a great cook. Her hugs when I was feeling down, and when I was poorly and living away from home the provisions she would pop in to keep me going and not being over fussy. Watching her potter around in her garden, her pride and joy. There are many things I miss about my mum, but most of all I miss just having her here.

x x x

Bubbles

Thought I would tell you some of my secrets, a little bit more about me. But only one at a time.

Secret number 1 is that to cheer myself up I love to blow bubbles. The type that are meant for children. I’m not totally sure what it is about them, but the act of blowing and creating these bubbles and to then see them gently fall in the air, and finally pop gives me a happy feeling.

Used to buy them at Woolworths, so think I need to find new supplier!

x x x

ICE - In Case Of Emergency

Ive seen this before and thought it was a brilliant idea, and something we can use. Ive come across it again on Facebook, and here is the info:

ICE (In Case of Emergency) IdeaThe “ICE” idea, is catching on and it is a
very simple, yet important method of contact for you or a loved one in case of
an emergency. As cell phones are carried by the majority of the Population, all
you need to do is program the number of a contact person or persons and store
the name as “ICE”.

The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when they went to
the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with patients, but they
didn’t know which numbers to call. He therefore thought that it would be a good
idea if there was a nationally recognized name to file “next of kin”
under.

Following a disaster in London the East Anglican Ambulance Service has
launched a national “In case of Emergency (ICE)” campaign. The idea is that you
store the word “ICE” in your mobile phone address book and with it enter the
number of the person you would want to be contacted “In Case of Emergency “. In
an emergency situation, Emergency Services personnel and hospital staff would
then be able to quickly contact your next of kin, by simply dialing the number
programmed under “ICE”.

Please forward this.

Happy Valentines Day

So how am I spending my Valentines Day? Popping antibiotics, sleeping and keeping warm under my duvet. Drinking plenty of fluids, upping my vitamin C intake and sucking on real fruit ice lollies. Ive got an ear infection as well as tonsillitis. Though don’t know how I can have tonsillitis as I had them removed at the age of 5. Apparently not all the gland was removed, so they still swell up just like tonsils. Sorry for those out there who are squeamish.

I thought I would tell you the story about my very first Valentines Card. I was 13 years old when I got my very first Valentines Card, at the end of a school day when I had given up of anyone being my secret admirer. My best mate C had got a huge card at the beginning of the school day, from the best looking guy in our class. Lucky girl. At school I was quite timid, and just wanted to not really be noticed. Get through the school day, and then go home, and if I was lucky I might get a few words from the popular ones in my class.

In my History class I sat next to a girl called J, she was very sweet and we sat at a double desk right at the front of the class. Next to me across the isle was a guy called M. He was part of a gang we called the Hair Bear Bunch (after the tv programme) as they all had long hair and were into heavy rock music. He was an ok guy, but not someone I wanted to go out with, and he had asked me several times. Why didn’t I want to go out with him? Peer pressure, the popular ones in my class would have laughed their school ties off!

One day, long before Valentines it was pointed out to me by dear J that my name was written all over M’s books and pencil case. Oh the horror! On this particular Valentines Day I was waiting in the school foyer for my best friend C, she would walk me to my bus stop as she just lived around the corner. Suddenly J appears, looking all hot and flushed as she had thought she had missed me, and had been charged with the responsibility of giving me my Valentines Card.
I opened it, and it was signed Lord Shaftsbury with some lovely words in it. We were learning about Lord Shaftsbury in our History class and how he improved working hours and environments for children who worked in factories in Victorian times. As it was signed this way I instantly knew who the card had come from. I was well chuffed, my very first Valentines Card. Someone actually liked me enough to get me a card, and at that age it was very important to receive one, even if you made something up. But I didn’t need to make it up.

I never let on that I knew the card was from M, and I cant remember if he asked me out again after that or not. I kept that card for quite a few years, in my little keep sake box.

Hope you have a lovely day.

x x x

The Reader - Film Review

Went to see this film last Friday evening with my best buddie Debs. Its not what I would call a feel good film, but it is a film that will make you think. I certainly recommend it.

It begins in 1995 in Berlin where Michael Berg (Ralph Fiennes) is in his apartment, where he has a flashback to his 15 year old self (David Kross) meets Hanna Schmitz (Kate Winslet) who is a tram conductor and much older than him. Hannah helps Michael when he falls ill, and after a three month illness Michael returns to thank Hannah, and so their affair begins.

You see Michael growing from a boy to a man, in more ways than one! Hannah likes him to read to her, and hence the title of the film. The film goes from Michaels time with Hannah, modern day and then back to when Michael was a law student and watched Hannah’s trial. When their affair has finished Hannah moved on and became a guard at Auschwitz. She is on trial, and we watch how she is treated by her fellow defendants and how Michael reacts to her disclosures. Michael has a moral dilema, what will he do? Although Hannah was part of something very terrible, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her as her story unfolded. She chose to be a guard, but circumstances in her life gave her no choice in some of her actions. Back to the 1995, can Michael make amends for his decisions at the time of the trial?

Very thought provoking and greatly played by Kate Winslet, who ages before your eyes.

If you see it hope you enjoy.

x x

Ice Maiden

Those that have met me will know I’m not frigid or indeed an ice maiden. But today I’m stuck at home as its just too icy outside to venture out. Really pleased that on Sunday I did my shopping and stocked up on lots of goodies. It was my brothers birthday on Saturday and on Sunday evening we had a lovely family meal. As it had only been very light snow during the day I decided that it would be ok to go. But while we were eating our meal we could see through the windows the snow was falling heavily. In fact within two hours there was nearly four inches of snow. My brother wanted me to stay over but I just wanted to get home, or see if I could get home.

It took me two and a half hours to drive 40 miles home, was quite scary and didn’t like it at all. The main roads were just slowly crawling along, but once I got to the M23 I managed to drive at 20 mph! Was relieved to be home once I got there. Sussex hadn’t had as much snow, well not until later that night. I woke up on Monday morning to a beautiful blanket of snow and decided that it was best I didn’t drive anywhere. Instead I went for a snow walk. Love walking in the snow, but not once it gets icy. I’m the kind of person who easily slips over nothing.

Ive been watching day time tv and scoffing a box of hand made chocolates I received as a gift. Plenty of hot drinks and fluffy socks and watching people slip sliding up and down the road outside are the order of the day.

Went and saw The Reader on Friday with my girlfriend D. Will pop up a review within the next few days.

Im hoping weather is better tomorrow as its my best friends birthday and looking forward to going to salsa with her and catching up. Only done one salsa lesson so far this year, need to catch up.

What a way to start February, hope your keeping warm and enjoying the snow.

x x x

Lost my Way

I cant believe that I last blogged here July last year. Time certainly does fly.

Happy New Year to everyone and hope you had a lovely festive time. This year was very different for me. I spent Christmas day with my best friend and her two grown up daughters, her sister and her two sons. The meal was lovely even though the hostess was a little tipsy, good for her she worked bloody hard. We played a few party games and had a good giggle and I drove home and was in bed by mid night. I saw my family Xmas Eve and did the exchanging of pressies thing, I was a good girl and didn't open them until the morning, and I even saved my birthday ones to the day!

Boxing day went to friends and we had a games and vodka party. Got lift there and taxi back home, was great. Especially as I was there til early hours of the 27th, which was my birthday. Never started my birthday celebrations so early. Had a lovely lay in, and met up with my brother and one nephew and my niece for a meal in the evening. All in all I had a lovely time.

My eldest nephew left just before Xmas to go on his 9 month tour travelling around different countries. At the moment he is in Thailand and loving every minute. Its great that he posts what he is up to and his pictures onto Facebook. Makes him seem not so far away. Miss him dreadfully but thrilled at the adventures he is having.

Ive not seen my counsellor now for a couple of months. There have been various reasons. Illness, work etc. My counsellor has a bad back and cant travel very far at the moment. We are trying to make arrangements so that I go to him at his office which is an hour away. Part of me feels that I'm ready for us to wind down, yet I know that I still have lots to talk to him about. Things I don't worry my family and friends with. This week has been difficult for me as would have been my parents Wedding Anniversary on the 19th. I went up at the weekend and tidied up the grave and put some flowers down. There were tears. I don't always have tears when I visit.

Ive been really unmotivated this week, but tomorrow I must start doing instead of planning to do.

x x x