National Carers Week 9th to 15th June 2008

This week is National Carers Week. There are almost 6 million carers here in the UK. That's a staggering amount. Here's some more facts and figures for you:

* One in ten adults in the UK is a carer

* 3 million people juggle work with caring responsibilities for a disabled, ill or frail relative or friend.

* The main carers benefit - Carers Allowance is £50.55 for a minimum of 35 hours, equivalent to £1.34 per hour.

* People providing high levels of care are twice as likely to be permanently sick or disabled.

* Every year 2 million people take on new caring responsibilities.

* 1.25 million people provide over 50 hours a week on their caring responsibilities.

* 58% of carers are women, 42% are men

* 1.3 million carers are over the age of 65

* The value of carer’s contribution to the nation is £87 billion each year, yet the decision to care can mean a commitment to future poverty. Many give up an income, future employment prospects and pension rights to become a carer.

(from http://www.carersweek.org/newsroom_page.asp?id=41)

So why is this of so much interest to me? Because for nearly 4 years

after my mum died I became the main carer for my lovely dad, who was registered disabled and had Non Hodgkinsons Lymphoma, as well as other complications such as deafness, kidney failure and diabetes. I made a choice to give up my Management position to become self employed, so that I could have the flexibility to care for my dad.

I didn't claim Carers Allowance until the last few months of my dads’ life. It paid for my petrol to and from dads, and it wasnt the highest amount. My brother and I coped really well with my dads increasing care, and the main responsibility was down to me. I ran his home, his finances and his life. I organised his hospital visits, which were many, and took him there myself. I ensured that he took his medication, which was like running a pharmacy at home, and that he had his prescriptions kept up to date. I cooked, I cleaned until the last year when I found that I was running out of hours and days and dad’s personal care was more important than me doing the cleaning. We employed a family friend to come and help with the housework and ironing, which was a godsend.

I’m telling you my story as just an example of what caring can mean for both the carer and the person being cared for. I know of others who have done exactly the same thing. It’s often a very hard thing to do, to care for someone you love dearly. You often have to discuss things that you normally wouldn't with a relative or a parent. As a youth you are told about working, family life etc, but no one prepares you that one day you may have to parent your parents. And for me that was the hardest thing.

I wouldn't change one single moment of my caring for my dad, we were close, but grew a lot closer during those precious last years together. Looking back I wished that there had been some local support group for carers, somewhere to go to talk to people in the same situation. Apart from one occasion I always kept a happy stress free face for my dad, but once I got home I was exhausted. Not just from the physical side of things, but the emotional too.

I was blessed to be able to do this for my dad, I really believe that. And if I had been married, had a family, I wouldn't have been able to have spent so much time with him.

So, if you are a carer, or you know of a carer, please just give a little time to think about what your needs are, what their needs are. A kind word and a hug goes a long way. My dad was always grateful for what I did for him, but that's not why I did it. Carers do it out of love.

x x x

Tapas

Tapas is one of my favourite meals out. Not tried doing it at home yet. My cousin J (who shares same birthday as me but is ten years younger) came for an overnight stay with her new husband. Its the first time I’ve met J’s husband. They got married in Las Vegas just before Christmas last year, and I got up in the middle of the night to watch it via web cam. It was brilliant! I was in my jim jams with a glass of bubbly enjoying their chapel wedding.

Met on Friday afternoon and went to a nice country pub. Always feels like I’m playing truant when I go out somewhere like that during a week day. Then we met up with my brother and his three children and went for a Tapas. The bar was heaving with people, but we booked our table and just drank and chatted at the bar. It was loud and very atmospheric. We had to wait an hour for a table but we didn’t mind. There was lots of banter and family telling of tales.

The food and the company was brilliant. I think one of the things I love about Tapas is that its so informal, and that you just try lots of different dishes. My eldest nephew wanted to see his auntie a bit tipsy so he ordered a few shots, and of course I had to partake. I was pleasantly mellow but not tipsy, much to my nephews disappointment.

My cousin J and her hubby are off to Wembly Arena today to see the Foo Fighters and then will meet up with them afterwards. Its a real family chill out weekend, which I love.

Enjoy your weekend.

Hugs

When is a Tree not a Tree?

When it’s a Mohonia , which is a Shrub. I’ve been searching for ages to find out what the Tree is outside my front room window. I’m on the first floor with a huge front room window with this lovely thing outside my window, just about a foot away. It flowers at least 3 times a year, and the birds love it. Especially the Blackbirds, Thrush’s and small birds, along with the bees. I’ve been asking all sorts of visitors if they knew what it was, I've been searching the Internet too. Then yesterday I found it, and it’s not a Tree it’s a Shrub, and a huge one at that!

The Mohonia Shrub has striking yellow flowers that then turn to the blue/black berries that the birds love so much. It smells very much like Lilly of the Valley and the bark has a snakeskin look to it. I just love watching the birds feeding on it, so close to my window. You could almost touch them, my next step is to try and see if I can photograph any through the glass.

I’ve been playing with my new toy, my NavMan. Tested it out with a friend yesterday. Chose a remote country pub for Sunday lunch, and it worked better than me! I’m hooked on it now and have used it for journeys I don’t really need it for as know the way. Its going to be a big bonus for my visit to Leeds at the end of the month and finding my relatives.

I adore going out for Sunday Lunch, and the place we found yesterday was lovely. An old English Pub in a nice Sussex village. I had the full roast and apple crumble and custard and ice cream for afters! Yum Yum. Then on the way back home we saw a Forest Walk sign and thought we would investigate as we thought it was near a lake we had gone past.

The walk was lovely through the Forest, but we needed a map really as we didn’t find the lake. However, along the way we did see two Deer jump out of the bush onto the track right in front of us, stop, then dart away. It was amazing and took my breath away. We walked about four miles, at a nice rambling place, but I wasn’t really wearing the correct shoes so by the time we got back to the car I had developed a blister or two. The forest was beautiful, so I'm going to do some research on it and then maybe explore it better with the right footwear.

So what else have I been up to? I’ve started working on my Family Tree, although a second cousin of my Dads has already done some of the work, there are other branches I want to add to it. It’s been totally absorbing and fascinating, and I’m hooked on it now. I’ve enlisted some help from my cousins to get more recent family dates so I can add their parts of the family. One of my cousins sent me a link to a site that has a picture of my mum aged around 10 with her sister and a friend outside their local cinema on a motorbike. It’s a picture I’ve never seen before, and very special as I don’t have many pictures of my mum as a child, and her sister who is with her died just under a year after mum did.

x x